Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Playboy - March 2007 - Mariah Carey


Mariah Carey is the Playboy covergirl of March 2007
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FHM - April 2007 - Carmen Electra


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PASSWORD : www.wareztuga.org

Cosmo Girl - February 2007


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PASSWORD : RottenKid@warezbb.ro

The Flinstones


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Playboy - Girls of McDonalds


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Sleve Trek - Adult Comics book


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PlayBoy Lingerie Pack Series


PlayBoy Lingerie Special Edition Mar2004
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PlayBoy Lingerie Special Edition Dec2004
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PlayBoy Lingerie Special Edition Jun-Jul 2005
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PlayBoy Lingerie Special Edition Oct-NOv 2005
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PlayBoy Lingerie Special Edition Jun-Jul 2006
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40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting
out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference
between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to
extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side
to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly
sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like
you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the
whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which
you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take
the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep
going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist
with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present,
not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still
believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there
than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in
principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's
best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior ofher vagina at first,
then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move
toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.
18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can
do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up
slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach,
the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few
seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites
of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At
least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold
her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth
down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about
three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use
her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it.When she's
performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do
what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them.
In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does
all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much
like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you
want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words
"__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring
honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all
handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a
Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual
partner
with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they
have a prostate. Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the
neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big
turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line.
If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying unt il you get it right, and
she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.

The Yoni Massage (for Women)

BACKGROUND INFO
Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.

The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some
massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.

The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.

It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons.

PREPARATION
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.

Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the bathroom.

Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.

PROCEDURE
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly
exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.

Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here.

Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants.)

CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.

The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the effects.)

Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.

Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/ vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.

With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinkie. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should
have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.

An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinkie of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinkie into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle.

(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinkie is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.")

So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much
pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.

Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her.

If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.

Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.

Murphy’s Laws in sex

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.


9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

16.Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

17.It is always the wrong time of month.

18.The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19.When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20.Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

21.Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22.The younger the better.

23.The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

24.It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

25.Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

26.Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

27.There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

28.Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

29.Love is a hole in the heart.

30.If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

31.Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

32.Do it only with the best.

33.Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

34.One good turn gets most of the blankets.

35.You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

36.Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

37.It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

38.Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

39.Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

40.Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

41.Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

42.A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

43.What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

44.It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

45.Never say no.

46.A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

47.Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

48.Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

49.Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

50.A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

51.Love comes in spurts.

52.The world does not revolve on an axis.

53.Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

54.Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

55.Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

56.There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

57.Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

58.Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

59."This won't hurt, I promise."

How To Seduce Women

There are numerous techniques at your disposal to get a woman to go to bed with you. Most women will tell you, however, that this is not true. I suppose that they don't want us (men) to have the keys to the lock that opens up their coveted wares. But in this short article I will share with you some information and techniques that will give you much, much better odds at getting any woman into bed.

To seduce a woman you will first need to understand her point of view and then proceed accordingly, not only to obtain your own objectives, but for your mutual satisfaction and fulfillment. Because women want to be seduced and they want to have sex as much as men, they just want it on their own terms.

The most important sexual organ you possess as a man is your mind. You must use your mental powers to arouse a woman and to handle her objections and fears to get her into bed. In many ways, you're going to have to talk your way into bed. Before discussing her fears, however, I want to warn you about your own. You cannot have a negative internal dialogue with yourself and all sorts of doubts and negative thoughts racing through your brain when you're seducing a woman or you will surely sabotage yourself. So don't allow yourself to dwell upon your fear of rejection, your inadequacies, or any doubts you have about yourself. You must stay positive and expect the best to occur every time you are with a woman. Believe in yourself, relax, and have fun. Women will be less likely to resist any move you make if you are natural and carefree. Like a beautiful young woman once told me, "The fewer a guy's worries are, usually the more attractive he is."

Anyway, to seduce a woman you will have to influence her mind. You will have to persuade her to have sex with you because the decision to have sex or not is a woman's prerogative. Once you understand the criteria upon which she bases her decision, you will be able to influence her in a way that will get you the results you desire.

Much of the criteria upon which a woman bases her decision on whether or not she is going to give it up revolves around her basic fears. A woman must first be free of any anxiety or fears before she will invite you to ravage her. You need to clear away the obstacles to the bedroom. Understand a woman's fears and you can leverage a woman's point of view to your advantage.

A woman has three main fears that you need to handle to clear the path to pleasure, ease, and her enjoyment of sex. First, she fears that she is not as beautiful as she needs to be, or could be, or should be. Women are always worried about their weight, the size of their breasts, their wardrobe, and their overall attractiveness. To eliminate these fears of inadequacy, tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her what you think of her skin, her neck, her legs, and especially her eyes. But don't mention her breasts unless they're perfect and not until you have already caressed them. Complement her about her clothes, her eye makeup, her jewelry, and never, NEVER critize her or belittle her in any way when you're making your move toward the bedroom.

Her second biggest fear is her fear of abandonment. She needs to feel that after you make love to her that you are still going to be with her in the future. Reassure her that you are now a part of her life. In your pre-bedroom conversation, tell her how much you look forward to spending time with her in the future, and explain why you can see the two of you together for a long time, and talk about exciting things you will do together over the weeks and months ahead.

The third big fear to handle before getting a woman into bed is her fear of unwanted pregnancy or contracting the AIDS virus. You deal with this fear by broaching the subject of condoms before you get all hot with passion. Most women now days will not have sex with you unless you're wearing a condom. As a Chinese girlfriend of mine was fond of saying, "No cover wang, no get bang!" Your job is to reassure her ahead of time that you use condoms and that you have a supply of them on hand. Look for ways to talk about the subject of condoms in a non-threatening way. Say something sometime early on like, "I think it's really important that people use condoms when making love." Try to word it in a way that uses third party names and references; don't say 'you' like to use condoms don't you.

OK. So now you know about handling a woman's fears in order to seduce her. How about using Embedded Suggestions and Sexual Body Language to get her into bed? These are powerful techniques and work on an unconscious level like hypnotic suggestion to get a woman to start thinking about sex. When a woman starts thinking about sex, she will start to feel like having sex. First you get the mind working and then the body follows. There are very subtle ways to elicit the desired response you want from a woman through the power of mental association by means of an embedded suggestion. And using the proper body language is even more powerful and effective than using language to lower a woman's defenses and arouse her.

Penis Enlargement

First off, this work out DEMANDS your total devotion, and needs to be performed at least 5 times a week. No exceptions. If you really want to enlarge your penis, you will make a good habit of following this plan daily. I do it 6-7 days a week, but I have worked my way up to it. If at any time you feel real pain or discomfort, ease up. There's no need to hurt your penis in order to enlarge it. You will find after about 2-4 weeks, your penis will begin to feel and look larger and thicker, as well as harder. First off, lets start by using a hot wrap:

The Hot Wrap: Take a wash cloth and soak under hot-warm water for several seconds, wringing out excess water. Wrap around your penis and testicles and hold for several minutes. Repeat 2-3 times, making sure your penis is good and warm.

After you have Hot wrapped, dry of your penis well to ensure a good grip for the following exercises:


1.) The Length Xtender: Making it longer!

This exercise I call the Length Xtender for obvious reasons. This exercise stretches your penis out, stretching the erectile tissue. Your erectile tissue is kind of like your penis's central tendons that engorge with blood, which give you an erection. While this exercise will lengthen your penis in its flaccid and erect state, it will not thicken it as much as lengthen. I find this exercise much healthier and safer than using weights for penis enlargement. This exercise should be performed sitting on an edge of a chair or couch, but can be performed standing if preferred.

1. Make sure your penis is in its flaccid (limp) state. Take one hand and grip around the head of your penis. Grip firmly, but not hard enough to feel discomfort. Take your other hand and grip around the hand gripping your penis. This will ensure a firm and tight grip.

2. Pull out directly in front of yourself, pulling with enough force to feel a good stretch in your penis. Hold and count for 30 seconds. Repeat 10 times, adding a little extra force each time, but not too hard to cause pain.

3. Relax, and slap your penis against your leg about 75 -100 times to get the blood flowing again. Rest for a minute.

4. Repeat step 2, except pulling to the left this time.

5. Repeat step 3.

6. Repeat step 2, except pulling to the right this time.

7. Repeat step 3.

8. Repeat step 2, except pulling up this time.

9. Repeat step 3.

10. Repeat step 2, except pulling down this time.

11. Finish by slapping your penis against your leg 75-100 times.

Next, Repeat step 2 as stated above, except this time rotate your penis in a circular fashion to the left about 30 times. Now rotate your penis to the right about 30 times. Keep alternating left to right, until you have completed this exercise about 5 times to each side. End by slapping your penis against your leg 75 -100 times.

This exercise will ensure a longer penis within as little as 2 weeks, but within 3-4 months will really be noticeable. We encourage you to take a notebook and log your measurements are each week. This way you will know exactly what your progress is, and will also encourage you to keep up the exercises.

This next exercise is called "jelq". Jelqing has been done for centuries by many tribes, cultures, and as a family secret. Passed down from father to son for generations, it has been held in the highest regard as the most effective method for enlarging your penis. This milking exercise forces blood into the penis, repeatedly engorging the penis with blood. Over the course of several months, the blood spaces in the penis becomes larger, being able to hold more blood, which in return makes your penis larger. This exercise requires 20-30 minutes of your time, and should be performed sitting on the edge of a chair, but may be done standing if desired. You will need a teaspoon of Vaseline or a healthy dousing of baby oil to perform this exercise.

Note: Sitting vertical is better than laying down due to the fact that gravity will aid in your milking sessions by keeping blood within your penis.


2.) Jelq - (Milking the Penis for Enlargement)
First, apply a generous amount of Vaseline, baby oil, or other lubricant to your penis and rub evenly all over. Message your self to almost a full erection, but not quite. Now, message a small amount of lubrication into your palms. Take your left hand and make an "ok" symbol with your thumb and forefinger. Take your thumb and forefinger and grip tightly around the base of your penis. Keeping a tight grip, slide your hand down to the head of your penis, pulling as you go.
You should watch the head of your penis expanding as you slide your hand down. Repeat with your right hand. Now continue this act over and over, one hand then the other in a sort of "milking" action. Be sure to keep a tight grip around your penis with your thumb and forefinger as you milk down to your head, watching your head expand with blood as you repeat, one hand then the other, over and over again at a medium to brisk pace.
While milking, do not ejaculate. If you feel the urge to ejaculate, pause milking for a few moments and wait for the urge to subside. Holding back is an exercise in restraint, which will instill a sense of self-control. This milking stimulates circulation in the genitalia, and the increased blood supply is temporarily trapped in your penis. After several months of milking, your penis will begin grow longer as well as much thicker. You will probably notice a change after the first couple of sessions.
After about 3-4 months of daily practice, results will become permanent, but we encourage you to continue Jelq sessions to keep your penis in its utmost prime shape. For the first week or so, only jelq for about 10 minutes per day, or 100-200 repetitions. After a week or so, try to work up to 20 minutes every day.. Really add some force (not too much though, a moderate grip will work best) while you milk. Remember, keep your penis in a half-erect state. If it's totally limp while you milk, you will not see any results. You MUST have a partial erection while doing this exercise.
After about 2 weeks, work yourself up to jelq sessions that last 30 minutes or so. Within a 3-4 month period you will be writing us to say how much you love this manual, we guarantee. This exercise is perhaps the most effective penis enlargement technique known to man. It not only makes your penis longer and thicker, but harder and over all healthier as well.
After you have had a 30-minute jelq session, your penis should feel warm, larger than normal, and tingly. This is the feeling that you want because it shows that you have broken down and fatigued your erectile tissue in your penis, and it will grow back bigger and stronger, similar to body building. If you cannot achieve an erection for several hours after a vigorous milking session, do not worry because this is quite normal. Your erectile tissue is just extremely tired, and will recover shortly. Remember to keep your hands to the side of your penis, and your thumb over the top and your index finger under while you grip your penis to perform the milking exercise.

After your jelq session, perform another "hot wrap" with a wash cloth to stimulate your penis and keep blood held within.

This next Exercise is a true sex secret. Its called The PC Exercise, and it just may save your life one day by helping prevent prostate cancer, as well as give you rock hard erections, and enable you to ejaculate further than you ever dreamed. It will also give you incredible power to hold back the urge to ejaculate until you feel the desire to. No more "minute man" syndrome.


4.) Kegel's - The PC Exercise

This next article was emailed to me by an anonymous source, but has had a HUGE impact on thousands of men's sex lives as well as overall well being.

Would you like to know an exercise that can restore a youthful erection, help to create mind-blowing orgasms (solo or with a partner), and even save your life by giving you a healthy prostate...?

PC exercises, also known as Kegel exercises, strengthen the pubbocoxygennus muscle (PC muscle), a sling of muscle that surrounds your anus and prostate gland. The PC muscle is the muscle that involuntary "pumps" when you ejaculate. Strengthening - and learning to control - this muscles is THE sex secret. Maybe it sounds too good to be true, but there's now a simple, foolproof way for men to boost their partners' and their own pleasure during lovemaking. And it doesn't rely on aphrodisiacs or drugs. Instead, it involves doing a set of easy to learn pelvic-muscle exercises called Kegels (after Arnold Kegel, M.D., the gynecologist who developed them over 40 years ago). Women have been practicing these moves for years to intensify their orgasms and increase their partners' stimulation. Now, sex therapists and researchers have discovered that both partners can benefit sexually when men do Kegels too.

Time-honored Taoist healing techniques refer simply to "tightening the anus."

First, locate it. Stop the flow of urine when you take a pee. If you have trouble doing this, you really need these exercises.

PC clamps: squeeze and release your PC muscle. Start with a set of 20-30, and work your way up to sets of 100-200. Do at least 300 EVERYDAY, for the rest of your life. This will give you an erection harder than when you were a teenager. Continual practice will ensure you a rock hard erection, any time you desire, as well as giving you the ability to actually hold back your orgasm as long as you desire simply by flexing your PC muscle.

Long squeeze: hold PC muscle clamped tight for a count of twenty... or as long as you can.

Stair steps: tighten and loosen in increments.
PC flutter: tighten the PC muscle as slowly as you possibly can. At some point it will "flutter," and you'll feel energy sparkling up your spine. Concentrate on deep, slow breathing while you do this - great for restoring energy when you're running down!

Kegel exercises both strengthen and tone the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle-which runs from front to back in men's and women's pelvises--as well as the surrounding pelvic muscles. The PC muscle is what helps bring a man or woman to climax, and, along with other pelvic muscles, it also controls urination.

In his recent book, "The New Male Sexuality (Bantam Books, 1992), psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., claims that many of his male patients who practiced pelvic-muscle contractions over time reported increased sexual sensation and more intense orgasms. That's not all. Over the past 20 years, William Hartman, Ph.D., and Marilyn Fithian, Ph.D., co-directors of the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California, have prescribed Kegel exercises to more than 1,300 male patients who were troubled by erection problems. Most of the men who did the exercises as prescribed reported firmer erections than before.

What's more, nearly 200 of Dr. Hartman and Dr. Fithian's male patients who practiced Kegels learned to delay ejaculation, enabling them to prolong sex to their own and their partner's satisfaction. And most surprising, 10 percent of these men were eventually able to have multiple orgasms--that is, two or more climaxes during a single act of intercourse before ejaculating. (Orgasm and ejaculation don't always occur simultaneously in men.)

With so many sexual benefits, Kegels are the perfect "sexercises" for men as well as women to master. Besides helping to create the physical conditions that enhance lovemaking, the exercises can spice up sex in another way as well. "Partners can take turns tightening their pelvic muscles during intercourse," explains Dr. Hartman. "Each will feel the other's muscle contractions, which adds to the excitement."

For a man who wants to learn how to perform Kegels, the first step is locating the PC muscle. Here's how: Some time when he has the urge to urinate, he should sit on the toilet with his legs spread, start to urinate, then try to stop the flow. (The PC muscle is the one he squeezes to do this.) After restarting the flow, he can practice stopping and restarting the stream of urine. It may take several attempts to actually isolate the PC muscle--the buttocks muscles have a tendency to kick in if the legs aren't kept wide. When a man has familiarized himself with the sensation of contracting the PC muscle, he's ready to practice holding the contractions. He should first try holding a contraction for several seconds three or four times a day. Over the next few weeks, as he continues doing Kegels, he can gradually increase the time of the contraction until he is holding it for 10 to 15 seconds. Next, he should alternate these Kegel holds with a series of short, quick contractions. Dr. Hartman recommends that men gradually work up to a daily routine of 100 quick PC contractions and five holds. (Women who want to learn how to do Kegels should follow these same steps, but they only need to do the long holds for five seconds; men, however, need the 10- to 15-second hold for delaying ejaculation.)

After a few months of diligent practice, a man should be ready to try using the Kegel hold during intercourse to delay ejaculation. But first he must familiarize himself with the sensation known as ejaculatory inevitability--the point at which he can no longer hold back an ejaculation. He will feel an uncontrollable urge to ejaculate as his prostate gland and seminal vesicles contract. Once a man has developed an awareness of this sensation, he can then learn to produce a PC contraction before he reaches that point of no return. (Another option is for a man to try practicing this technique on his own while masturbating.)

Most men can do Kegels anywhere, since they're seldom aroused by the exercises; women may want to practice Kegels in private since for them, the increased blood flow to the pelvic region is more likely to spark arousal. Continued over a lifetime, the exercises can help men (and women) head off urinary incontinence later in life. That plus greater arousal, enhanced orgasms and longer-lasting sex make these some of the simplest, most beneficial exercises a man or woman can do. I do at least 5 sets of a hundred every day, and some days I even go for 10 sets.. This exercise, without a doubt, can increase your sexual performance 10 fold.

Now that you know how to do the exercises, let’s begin our workout plan.
Please follow all 4 steps.

1. Begin by gently stretching your penis out by grasping around the head and pulling outward, then around in a circular rotation, left then to the right. Do this for about 5 minutes. This is the Length Xtender workout. Eventually you can work yourself up to 30 minutes of this exercise, but that’s after you’ve been doing this for at least a few months. This will lengthen your penis over time by stretching the center tissue out longer. After about 5 minutes of warming up, proceed to #2.

2. Time for Jelq. A generous amount of Vaseline is needed for this exercise, about a teaspoon full. Rub the lubrication all around your penis, messaging yourself to a partial erection. Take the excess Vaseline and rub into your palms. Now take your index finger and thumb and grasp around the base of your penis, grab firmly and "milk" forward until you come to the head of your penis. Repeat with the other hand, and do this over and over at a medium pace, really concentrating on your head expanding as you milk forward. Do this for 15 minutes starting out. After one week Jelq for 20 minutes. After 2 weeks Jelq for 30 minutes at a time. By the third week you will start noticing a difference in your length and especially in your thickness. After you have jelqed continuously for your appropriate amount of time, move on to exercise #3.

3. Kegels. This exercise is explained in the first part of the manual, so if you can’t remember how to do them, please revert to the beginning of the manual. Hold a PC flex for as long as you can, do this 5 times to warm up. Now do a set of 50 kegels, taking a 30 second brake after the 50 have been achieved. Do 4 sets of 50 kegels starting out, every day after you jelq. Many men also get into the habit of doing kegels while they drive, work, etc. Kegels are the most important exercise to do for overall sexual performance. After a week of this regimen, do a set of 100 kegels at a time. Over a period of a month or so, you should be able to do 200-300 kegels at one time. Do 4 sets of these a day, and within a few months you will be able to hold off the urge to ejaculate for as long as you want, and will also be able to keep an erection after you have ejaculated. This exercise truly is the "sex secret".

4. Finish with a Hot wrap. Soak a wash cloth under a hot faucet and wrap around your penis and testicles. Do this 3 times, and finish by drying with a towel.
Do this workout plan every day, taking 2 days off every month. We guarantee results! They will come! DO THEM EVERY DAY. We guarantee you will be emailing us with a great success story in no time at all. Give us a chance at making your life better.
Performance Enhancing Exercise:

Glute Flex's:
Lie on your back and tense your buttocks. Flex your buttocks 5 times with a 3-second delay before unflexing. If you feel even a slight burn, then you are very out of shape. This is where most of your thrusting force comes from where sex is concerned. Your buttock holds most of your thrusting power and stamina, with your abdominal being second in line. Here's the Flexing exercise from start to finish:

Lie on your back, and make sure you are on a floor, or firm surface so that you have the appropriate resistance to force against (i.e., the carpet, floor, etc. Your bed is far to giving and will not work for this exercise.).

1-Flex your buttocks as hard as you can, holding for a slow 3 count, then unflexing. Do these 5 times to warm up.

2-Flex and unflex in a fast, steady pace for 3 sets of 50, or if you can't even do 50, do as many as possible. rest for 30 seconds between each set, and take in deep, slow breaths through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth.

3-Next, flex as hard as possible and hold for as long as you can until you start to tremble. Once trembling, unflex and repeat 5 times..

4-Repeat step 2.

5-Repeat step 3.

6-Finish by doing very rapid flexes continuously for 30 seconds or as long as you can.

7-Sit up and rest for several minutes.. This exercise will give you flex power and will increase your thrusting 10 fold after several weeks of exercising. They should be performed 5 days a week, for the rest of your life. This will also tighten and shape your buttocks, which will also be more appealing to your lover.

Tips to getting pussy

For starters you have to remember that girls are horny too but that they are looking for something more then a hard dick so i will try to help you to get into her without raping her....

Getting to the pussy step by step instructions.

1. Get to know a girl you'd like to fuck or have a real relationship, and ask her out.. do the normal stuff that ppl do on dates, talk about the stuff shes into. Make sure she does more of the talking than you, now you have to listen to what she's saying and when you talk to her, answering a question or asking her a question make sure to look into her eyes. now depending on the girl you will have to wait from 2 weeks to 2-3months

2. Ok first off never -- i mean never -- act like your trying to get into her pants.... this will scare most girls away (99.95% of them that is). So what you have to do is act like your into them for who they are. Now if you really are this isn't much of a problem. make sure she knows you care about her -- like when your watching a movie or something where you're really close to her and you've kissed her already -- run a clean figure on a cheek on her face and then give her a nice kiss. Now leave it at that unless she wants to go further... but leave it to kissing her (btw i said clean because a girl will get turned off by a dirty figure rubbing her face)

3. Now remember that girls "pursue that which retreats form them". now keeping this in mind you have to keep your distance. This might be, not seeing her every lunch at school, or don't call her for a few days. You get the idea. But remember if she asks, have a good reason like you had to work or spend time with friends... girls wanna know you have sometime else in your life than them.

4. Ok now you should have her chasing you.. if you don't keep working the hard to idea. Now that she's chasing you, start to take advantage of this situation but remember not to push her too fast... now it's a proven fact that it takes about 20min for a girl to work up to having sex. OK so your making out with her.... just leave it at that (for now) keep the kissing going dude don't stop but every once and a while pull away and make her come to you for the kisses. This will drive her crazy because of the retreating thing.. Now if she starts to tremble in your arms you've got her worked up... Dude sorry but your not getting laid today... leave it at that... have some good reason like try this at lunch or between classes... control yourself no matter what she says or how much you want to fuck her, don't do it this time. If you fuck her this time you will have lost everything you've worked at getting.

5. Now she's going to want to fuck you all day.. nope your going to wait about 3 days... now i know this sounds really odd, but trust me this girl will cum just at the sounds of your voice if you wait it out. see girls always want what they can't have... so she's going to be thinking about how wet you got her... now don't forget to ask her about how worked up she was, but don't let on that you played her.... just remind her about day 2 about that time (whereever you were with her).

6. ok it's been three days since you've seen her or maybe you haven't doesn't matter as long as you've been talking to her about how things went. Ok so you've got her to yourself... now here's the trick: go at her the same way you did the last time you got her all horny.. this will bring back memories of the last time, getting her wet even faster. BUt your still going to take longer this time with the making out.. remember if you make a girl cum she is more likely to want to fuck you again. But don't worry if you don't know how yet. Now make out with her until she starts to tremble.

7. at this point you should ask her if shes ready to go a little further.. the answer should be yes unless its that time of the month.. in which case stay away (things can get messy). if she says yes, keep your cool your not going to just fuck her right away, you take it slow... slowly get her out of her clothing and you out of yours. Now your both naked, or whatever you want to take off... keep the kissing coming. If the girl feels that you're going to just fuck her then she's going to get pissed.. so if you don't want to eat her out at least finger her.. she wants to know that your willing to do some work also... if it's her first time please take it slow there's nothing worse then a tight pussy and a big dick... she will scream in pain dude... so eat her out or finger her (really doesn't matter but eating her out will turn her on more) now if she doesn't want to go down on you that's cool but most likely she will, if not get the condom out dude.

8. you just about to slip inside of her, get really close to her give her a kiss and let her know how much you're into her... not your dick but emotionally into her. then slip inside of her... remember that she's not just there as a piece meat. watch her if you see her eyes roll back your doing it right otherwise if it's your first time ask her what she would like.. its kinda weird but a girl really likes to know you're thinking about her. Ok now you're going away on her try taking one of your hands and rubbing her "clit" like the prono girlz do. this will send her into wave... now depending on what position you two are comfortable with, get her into a position that lets her take control. Then you relax and think about non-sexual things, cars, football, you get the idea... give her a few more kisses... you have to remember that girls remember everything that is done during sex and depending on what you do this time will govern how soon again you get to fuck her. Now if you cum before she does no biggy... fool around with her if shes still upto it some girlz get tired if she wants to keep it going go down her or eat her out... (up to you) basically your buying yourself time. Ok so maybe you go at it once more or even more.. just make sure that shes still into it and that you still are into her.. if you pull away emotionally like just start fucking without kissing her or saying anything she won't fuck you again.

9. remember girlz have sex for different reasons then guys they want to know that you're into them and they feel it will make a closer relastionship. Ok you're done fucking her... don't even ask her how good it was... you might not like what you hear.

10. now remember that not all girls are up to having sex every day and you should back off on the horniness now too. But that doesn't mean that you're not going to get laid again just maybe not for a few days.

11. Depending on your girl she might come back to you for more or if she's not like then get her worked up again but this time try something new like going down on her if you didn't the first time or different positions. Now just remember that you have to pull away from the relationship to go do things with friends and shit like that.


just some ideas

keep talking to her.. there's no need to call her that night you can talk to her the next day (after sex)

don't treat her like shit, just make sure you have a life other then her

remember to keep talking about important stuff and not just sex

girls will get tired of you if you don't do anything so keep active.

if you see the movie "tao of steve" it's not a prono but it's a movie that is both funny and you can learn more then i can type... it's what this is based on. trust me once you've seen the movie you won't think it's in bad taste.

What Girls are looking for!

Ok, First things first...I have read a lot of books, seen a lot of things, and experienced things first hand for myself. This is how I know what girls are looking for. There are 3 concepts you need to understand here. After you understand all 3 you can move on to the conclusion of this text.


First: Girls want a guy who is confident!

This is very important. Most guys who don't have a girlfriend are ones who lay low, let the girls find them. Also they don't show off! Now when I say show off I'm not saying show off like freakin' standing on your head and shit, no...what you must understand is confidence. You must show you have no fear of rejection. So when you see a tons hot chick in class...on the street...at work, what do you do? You go right up and ask them their name and number. Say something smooth, like, I'm going to a movie Saturday night, and I was wondering if you would like to join me? Babes dig a guy who seem sure of themself...it allows them to let down their guard and feel secure. So just to sum it up for you all short like...A guy can have any chick he wants... The only catch is that they must know how to accomplish this. So, First thing, find a chick you dig. When you are feeling totally confident (If your not, pretend! Come on...be a good actor!) Stroll up to her ask her what her name is and go for it! Now if you understand the jest of what I have just said, You are thinking of nothing more than to be confident & smooth. Great, now you understand the first concept.

What if's:

Ok, stop right there! I know a lot of you are reading this and thinking...hey its not that easy...There is a lot I don't know. What if she has a boyfriend and he wants to beat the bloody-piss out of me for hitting on her?...What if she thinks I'm ugly?... What if I look stupid and piss my fuckin' pants? You know what I say? Screw it, you can't be worried about that shit...life goes on! Even if you do get the bloody-piss kicked out of you, well you tried (but odds are if she has a boyfriend, she will just tell you and it will end there). So fuck all the what ifs and go for it!

Second: The 30-second rule!

Ok, next one is very short and sweet. A girl will decide within the first 30 seconds of meeting you if she will do you. Its that simple, make a good impression at the very beginning and it will all go well for you when it comes time for gettin' down! Or going down...or whatever you do!

What if I have screwed that up already...Like there is this chick I want, but she probably already thinks I'm stupid and shit?

Well, there is another what if, but ok I will answer it. If she already has the frame of mind that you will never do for a sex partner (and you know this for sure, if you don't you need to find out) then you need not keep trying.

By the way...I want to say one other thing. If you are the type of guy who gets a girl drunk so you can have your way with them...I hope I never see you, because I will rip off your fuckin' balls. That shit just isn't right! Remember that.

Third: Girls want a bad boy!

For all you good boys out there, don't feel left out just yet...this includes you too. A lot of you have probably been saying that girls only like just losers and assholes...the ones who get into a lot of trouble and couldn't add 2 and 2. Well it seems that way, But its only half way true. Girls want a guy who they can reform. Yes! What that means is that they want someone who they can make change for them...Like if they are bad (like the ones listed above) they want to try to make them change into good boys that will protect and love them.This would be the ultimate sign of love for a girl. But most commonly, a trouble maker guy who is a jerk, and a freakin' asshole will only change for a while in order to get some. Then he will go right back to his old ways. So what I am saying is (like back in concept 1) don't just sit back and not try,(you don't have to be a fuckin' jerk) Just be cool and smooth and a girl will interpret that as being a bad boy (in there eyes). So good boys!, listen up, just get more confident and try again and again. Trust me you will have a date in no time at all. I promise.

Conclusion: So just remember, be cool and confident...act like nothing is going to sink your boat, then try for a chick. Make sure you are delivering the first impression that will score you a hot Saturday night date (Remember the second concept!). Next, just act like you are the shit, no one is better than you...you are funny, and charming. After you have a chick enjoy the work you have done. Now this next thing is most important...treat her with respect and love her. I hope you have a great relationship!

How to drive women crazy!

1. Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
2. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totallydifferent subject.
3. Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
4. Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she'sgaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer herwith some meat on her bones.
5. Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself inGeorgia when your original destination was California.
6. Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.
7. Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.
8. Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.
9. Never give her a straight answer.
10. Take up yodelling and practice a lot.
11. Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh!Argh! Argh!)
12. Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
13. Pretend you forgot how to speak English.
14. Answer every question with "Yes, dear."

Friday, March 16, 2007

Michelle Gemelli at Sexy Magazine


Hot summer in Brazil.
The beatiful model Michelle, naked at the beach.
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Newlook No 281 - Février 2007


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Playboy Special Edition Exotic Beauties September October 2003


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Uno Philippines Magazine 2007 Toni GonZaga


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Playboy SE Body Language 11 1998


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Entrevue Mars 2007


Entrevue est un magazine français mensuel qui analyse les dessous des médias, interviewe les acteurs du show-biz, enquête sur les crimes et délits divers et "dénonce" les travers sexuels des médias. La devise du magazine est "Toutes les vérités sont bonnes à dire".
Chaque couverture met en scène une star féminine sexy qui pose ensuite pour quelques photos osées. On remarque une grande implication du sexe dans les rubriques.
Le magazine s'appelait dans ses premiers numéros Interview. Un hebdomadaire anglo-saxon aussi appelé Interview fit un procés pour plagiat, lui rendant l'usage de ce nom interdit. Ainsi, il prit l'équivalent français Entrevue.
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Playboy's Playmates Of The Year - December 2000


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Playboy's Girlfriends - October 1999


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Playboy's Celebrating Centerfolds Vol4 - February 2000


Playboy is an American adult entertainment magazine, founded in 1953 by Hugh Hefner and his associates, which has grown into Playboy Enterprises, Inc., reaching into every form of media. Playboy is one of the world's best known brands. In addition to the flagship magazine in the United States, special nation-specific versions of Playboy are published worldwide. Playboy also delivers hardcore pornography through its television entity, Spice Network.
LINK

Seventeen [December 2006]


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Off to Vegas

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

Newly wed couple

this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.

husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.

wife: i'm flat chested.

husband: i don't believe u..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

husband: holy shit i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have to tell u too.

wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.

husband: im "weighed like a baby".

wife: i don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!

husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!

Knickerless

Joe is sitting on a train across from a
busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.

Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realises he is staring and
inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."

Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.

Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.

"I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over
and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

Making Love to a Woman

MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.

You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'.. slip in to the old bag.

WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.

Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

First Visit

The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we´ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.

Why Studying Is Better Than Sex

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

Fitness Management Magazine March 2007


Fitness Management Magazine March 2007
Download

Men's Health Tips For 2007


Men's Health Tips For 2007
Download

Men's Health Magazine Jan/Feb 2007


Men's Health Magazine Jan/Feb 2007
Download

Maddox - The Alphabet of Manliness


Maddox - The Alphabet of Manliness
LINK

Sex with the Queen


HarperCollins,.Sex with the Queen - 900 Years of
Vile Kings, Virile Lovers, and Passionate Politics
Download

The Multi Orgasmic Man


The Multi Orgasmic Man
Download

How to Make Love All Night


Dr. Barbara Keesling - How to Make Love All Night
LINK
password: books_for_all

Anne Hooper's Kama Sutra


Anne Hooper's Kama Sutra
LINK

Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex


Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex
LINK

Lovemaking Tips & Secrets ebooks Collection




Lovemaking Tips & Secrets ebooks Collection
Download

The Body Language of Sex, Power & Aggression

The Body Language of Sex, Power & Aggression
Download

Secrets Of Sensual Lovemaking

Secrets Of Sensual Lovemaking - How To Give Her The Ultimate Pleasure - Tom Leonardi
Download

Fanny Hill, Or Memoirs Of A Woman Of Pleasure


Fanny Hill, Or Memoirs Of A Woman Of Pleasure
Download

Love Chess


LoveChess
Features:
- A beautiful 3D scenery and realistic erotic models.
- Watch the chess pieces make love from every angle.
- Diverse and unique 3D sex animations.
- Hand painted erotic art.
- Ambient music for a total immersive experience
- Language: English.
- A chess-engine with enough challenge for both beginning and experienced players
Download
Password: www.soft-commander.net

Slovenian - Kamasutra


Slovenian - Kamasutra

Guide to Tantric Sex


The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric SexJudith Kuriansky
Download
password: books_for_all

You’re Guide to Better Sex in 10 Easy Steps.


You’re Guide to Better Sex in 10 Easy Steps.Become a more advanced lover and enjoy moreorgasmic sex
Download